It would be an absolute lie, to say that you’ve never been angry. Every single one of us gets angry. Just in different ways.
Some of us get angry very often.
Some of us are able to control the anger.
Some of us express our anger freely, whereas some of us suppress it.
So why do we get angry? Is there any way for us to control the anger? And if there is, how do we do that?
We get angry when we are stopped from doing something we want to do. Or when we don't get our way. Like having a concert cancelled that you was really looking forward to, or the supermarket hasn’t got your favourite hair dye in stock.
We get angry when our desires are not fulfilled, or when people don't agree to our viewpoint. Many times, we get angry when we find that our views are different to others and we are not able to understand the other person’s point of view.
In your head, make a mental list of your friends. Think about the following situation and imagine their reactions…
Your friend is sitting in a restaurant and someone spills something hot on their hands, unintentionally. Now imagine the reactions from your friend list. You will find that their reactions that will vary greatly.
You will probably imagine one friend of yours laughing it off and carrying on, whilst another friend would be calling the manager and making a big scene.
The reactions are different because they are controlling their anger differently.
Some people don’t take things very seriously. So they don't get angry over the small things, at all. That is the nature of those people. Some people are so serious, they get angry over the smallest things.
Are there any techniques we can use to control our anger? Let’s look at it like this…
Are you a person who reacts immediately? Or are you the type of person to think about what went wrong, before reacting?
Those of us who react spontaneously, typically get angry fast. Those who think about it before, reacting are able to understand and control their emotions better.
If you find you react immediately, try to count to ten and breathe before reacting!
Understanding others point of view can help in many situations. As we have our own views, so do other people.
Why try to enforce our thoughts on them? What would that achieve? We should at least try and understand what they think and why.
If your boss is angry with you, you don’t need to react immediately. Give yourself some time and think about all the possible reasons and you may find the answer to his anger. If at the end you realize that their anger was totally unjustified, you can choose to forgive and not react with anger.
Emotions such as anger can be controlled.
It needs reflection.
It needs practice to exercise restraint.
Use all that powerful, angry energy and use it as a positive power force.
By winning over your anger you will become a better person. Make your anger your slave and not get enslaved by it.